At the age of five i sing along to the radio in my dads pick up, it is older than he is. He smiles at me for the first time i remember.
when i was 7 my dad is away in a place with sand and sun. I would rather be alone than be who i am with. When i sing i am met with words of harsh tone and crushing syllables.
when i grew to be 8 my dad had returned but no smile crossed his face. He hugged me in the way a starving man would hug his food.
When i was 11 my father was away to the sunny place for the third time. each time he returned his face had less and less inside of it. I almost never sing outside of choir anymore.
At the age of 13 i make the startling discovery that i can no longer sing. I rush to tell my dad not realizing he is once again in the place who's name is filled with airy words with many Js and Hs. I do not sing again
At the age of 17 my dad comes home for good. or at least what is left of him.
At the age of 18 i walk across a stage with my name called out to the crowd and my dad... He smiles...
At the age of 18 i discover i can sing again